my pendulum says . . .

I have a pendulum I treasure because it was gifted to me by an elder in the Spirited Work community, the founder of Spirited Work.  Spirited Work was an eight year experiment in Open Space Technology community. We met for four-day weekends, four times a year, in cycle with the seasons and using Angeles Arrien's book The Four-Fold Way for the themes of our gathering. We met using Harrison Owen's Open Space Techology during our retreats but the whole community connected using Open Space throughout the year.  It was a nadir in community life for me and I miss it.

Of course I have great reverence and respect for its visionary creator. So of course I treasure the pendulum she gave me.

My pendulum is not giving me answers I want.  I've got the gimmees again.  This time I don't want stuff. It is quality of relationships and community that I want. Gimmee gimmee.  Want want. I know that wanting unleashes negativity in me, prodding me to focus on what I don't have instead of what I do.

My pendulum indicates I will not find the love I long for. Darn. Change the questions but what questions? Trust?  Meditate?

Wah. Gimmee gimmee.

Gosh, I guess I qualify as an elder these days. The woman who gave me my pendulum is in her eighties, though. A wise crone.  Although I also qualify as a crone, albiet not a wise one. I have one whisker on my chin, like any aging crone/witch should.