Often we can't forgive someone until we can see the situation from their point of view. A good practice to encourage this kind of perspective shift is "Just Like Me." Whenever you find yourself making an assessment of another person, whether you are saying something critical or something complimentary, right after you think or say it, add the statement "just like me." For example, "My friend blames me unfairly , just like me." While you are claiming negative qualities, also claim positive ones. For example, "My friend is a radiant being, just like me."
This activity can help you see that we are all imperfect and make mistakes.
Yup. We are all imperfect and we all make mistakes. And love is loving another, indeed, loving all others, around the impediment of their human imperfection. I have had long stretches, in the golden tunnel during which I did love all overs, irregardless of their behavior. I do this mental zig zag in my mind in which I visualize myself sending a neon love ray from my heart to the other person's heart, dodging around the current impediment of the other's anger, judgment, etc.
My great challenge is not fretting negatively about another. My great challenge is sending myself negative messages about myself. "I don't deserve to be loved, so he became angry, misinterpreted me and was unfair, just like me." Is this helpful or convoluted thinking.
working through. I rarely blame others. I blame myself for most conflicts, big or small, with others but I am an imperfect human, just like others, all others.