mattering matters

One factor that shows promise in at least partially softening the “social stress” of getting old and becoming invisible to members of the opposite sex: mattering. Mattering refers to the degree to which people feel they are an important part of the world around them. People with a high sense of mattering feel that others think about them, seek their advice, or care about what happens to them. A sense of mattering could come from a variety of sources.  Being subject to social invisibility because one naturally ages and devalued, both for one's companionship and wisdom, along with the fact that many men don't consider women over a certain age 'fuckable' or even 'datable' because many men will only date women that the men perceive will enhance the male's image with others. 

And, for me, my only child has invisibled me, making it clear I don't matter.  I feel invisible. I especially am aware of this when I attend conferences. Every conference has an opening and I have grown accustomed to watching how pretty much everyone in attendance looks around to see who is 'here'. S many men go blank when they scan past older or heavier women, the invisible women to them. It's an odd feeling, to see someone blanking you out even as their eyes scan by your image across the room; it is as if they hit a reject button and say aloud "This woman doesn't matter".

I want to matter to others and I don't. Not much. Not enough.

 Mattering matters.