I took the Christ out of Xmas!

I married in Sept 1979. I have been divorced from that man since 1985. But in the fall of 1979, pretty much pre-internet, my mother-in-law used to write me regular notes on stationary -- matching enveops and careful penmanship. She also wrote to my husband but sent her letters to him to his corporate job, using the excuse with no cause for it, that she was sure I would 'steal' her letters to him if she mailed the to our marital home. As if I would steal my husband's mail. Anyway, I maintained a correspondence with her because she was my new mother-in-law and I wanted to build a good relationship. Then, writing a chatty note about our Christmas plans, I ran out of space and when I signed off on my note, with almost no space left, I wrote "Marry Xmas, love Tree".

She called my husband as soon as she got that 'Xmas' and demanded he divorce me, proclaiming I was the devil. They were Catholics, who, technically, don't believe in divorce, eh? She said he was entitled to an annulment from a woman who took the Christ out of Christmas.

That woman seemed determined to not like me.

 We moved to my ex's hometown, had our daughter there and she chilled out about me. Some.  I had not really noticed that she had developed respect for my excellent parenting and, maybe, even some for me until my ex and I were legally separated.

 My former mother-in-law called me up and showed me startling, to me, kindness and then she bitch slapped it away. She said "I want you to know that I think you are a good mother, even a great one, and I hate to see him taking your baby away from you. I just want you to know I think you are a good mother but I have to take my son's side in this custody matter. Blood is thicker than water."

I think I hung up on her. Getting a legal separation and slapped with a custody law suit by a husband who worked 80 hours a week and went days without seeing our infant awake, much less having ever provided any real care for her was bad enough. I shocked my ex and his whole family when I fought back hard for my baby. It was as if they thought I would just roll over and give them my baby.

And, I swear to goddess this is true and that it is also true that I can see the humor in it, when my former mother-in-law said "I know you are a good mother but blood is thicker than water," I slammed down the phone and it felt great. I no longer had to politely endure her not-all-that-passive aggression. She was always giving me backhanded compliments that would have a kickback later.

I surprised my ex and his whole family by how hard I fought. I did anything I could to fight for custody of my infant. WTF had they been thinking, that I'd roll over and hand over my baby?

Hanging up on my former mother-in-law was one of my first overt indications that the gloves were off. Blood was indeed thicker than water. 

Come to think of it, blood between my daughter and I was never thick enough. If it were, she would have talked to me in the past fourteen years. I wonder if she has any realization of how it damaged me to have to fight for years for her and then fight for her wellbeing later when the incident happened.  I wonder if she ever considered that I didn't make the kind of money she dreamd of having, or provide the fancier life I could not afford, was because I prioritized her wellbeing. I never told her all that I faced vis-a-vis her father and his family because she was a child and I was a good mother.

 What to expect from a woman who takes the Christ out of Christmas?