to a blogger acquaintance, who I don't think ever reads my blog. . but . .

I am working hard to forgive the way I feel about how you treated me in relation to my sixtieth birthday.  I have never had a friend treat me that way.  You have written that I acted in what was, for you, irrevocably beyond a line of what you could accept. The combination of how you treated me in relation to my milestone birthday and then your negative, bigoted characterization of me as 'being such a borderline' when you don't really understand it at all. . . .

over and over, I pray, at least daily and often more than once a day, to let go of the hard feelings I have. For my sake. When I cannot feel forgiveness, I hurt myself.

You have written I have no credibiilty with you and said, many times, that you fear and distrust me. That means I was unwise to give you credibility, and to trust you. Every time you said "I fear you" you were warning me that I should fear you.