he's a dead man

Once, at least 20 years ago, I was at a dinner party comprised of parents from our Waldorf School. The hostesss was the wife of a teacher at the school. She had invited a female, German teacher and that teacher's much younger, American boyfriend.

It was a pleasant enough dinner but the German chick decided she wanted to leave early. I didn't know her at all then. It was a little odd, the way she rushed out. Maybe it was cultural differences. Maybe it was her boyfriend. I say this because after they had their winter gear on, suddenly the boyfriend, who had barely spoken said "Want to hear a joke?"

It was a very dirty, long joke and the whole time he told it, which seemed to take forever, his date kept saying "They don't want to hear this" and "We need to get going". The chick's face was beet red. Her anger obvious to everyone but, seemingly, the boyfriend.

He doggedly finished his joke. The rest of the gathered did not laugh. We politely bid the couple adieu. As soon as the front door has closed on them, the two remaining males said, almost in perfect unison, "He's a dead man." Then the guys went on, laughingly, to say she was going to ream him for telling that joke, esp. after she kept begging him to stop.  These two men were having affairs and were in love with one another's wives. One of the two new couples is still together. The hostess and her lover lasted only a few months of hot monkey love.

I was astonished by what those guys said, about the departed boyfriend being a dead man.  I didn't think he had done anything wrong, I didn't get why the girlfriend/teacher had been so upset. I had seen she was upset but I don't think it was the joke. I think they left early and hurriedly over something else but I have no idea what it was.

It was interesting, too, to hear two married men's thinking. One of whom was having an affair with the hostess and his wife was not present but she was having an affair with the hostess' husband. For some reason, she had not come to dinner, even though her lover was there. Come to think of it, those two couples had five kids altogether and I bet the left-out wife was providing child care. We were cool people but in Waldorf World, two married teachers hooking up and their five kids suddenly playing musical chairs was not something that could happen on the down low. The kids talked about their new musical homes lifestyle. As I think on it, it was an odd conglomeration of people.  There might have been all kinds of stuff going on I didn't know about.  It fascinates me still that those two guys knew the hapless, much younger (like 12 or more years younger, like 22 to her pushing 40) was in trouble. And I am pretty sure the kid had absolutely no idea he was in trouble. They had not been together very long, barely knew one another. And they did not stay together long.

"He's a dead man."  I used to fantasize contacting the 'dead man' and ask him what, if any repercussions he had experienced after that dinner party. If I had done that, shit would have rained down on me.