yesterday seems so far away

I practically leapt from my apartment to the train station in downtown Mountain View yesterday morning. I had started out the morning in a mild funk (a common beginning to my days) but as soon as I stepped outside into the sun, I cranked up my early Beatles music on the iPod. I danced from the bus to the northbound Caltrain platform. "Can't buy me love!" was lifting me higher and higher.

The train platform was crowded for a Saturday morning. As I noted the extra people, I also noted that we were all standing in a beautiful sunlight. I assumed everyone was headed for happy plans in the city. And I danced even more.

"Tell me that you want the kind of things that money just can't buy!"

I was so happy, swaying. I report that inside myself, I felt like happiness was gurgling up and down inside me the way the liquid bubbles in those bubbling Christmas tree lights. Then, out of the corner of one eye, I noticed that a youngish guy was watching me and joining in my happiness. He could see that I was lit with the music coming from my white earphones and that I was bursting with movement because of some happy groove. At first, I blanched, thinking that I would grow subdued, that I would stop dancing now that I was aware I was being watched. But I took another look at him, right in the eye, and I saw he was just feeling happy, too.

I rocked on until the train arrived. What a great start to my day.

I had a really great day yesterday. I guess it was preparation for today, which has sucked all day. I bought a bunch of stuff at the farmers market because I was unhappy. Then I ate a sweet, almost just to be unkind to myself. And now I'm grumbling gloom.