love: ultimate test, the work for which all other work prepares us
Rilke, in his Letters to a Young Poet, contemplates the true meaning of love and the particular blessings and burdens of love:
To love is good, too: love being difficult. For one human
being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of all our
tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all
other work is but preparation. For this reason young people, who are
beginners in everything, cannot yet know love: they have to learn it.
With their whole being, with all their forces, gathered close about
their lonely, timid, upward-beating heart, they must learn to love. But
learning-time is always a long, secluded time, and so loving, for a long
while ahead and far on into life, is — solitude, intensified and
deepened aloneness for him who loves. Love is at first not anything that
means merging, giving over, and uniting with another (for what would a
union be of something unclarified and unfinished, still subordinate —
?), it is a high inducement to the individual to ripen, to become
something in himself, to become world, to become world for himself for
another’s sake, it is a great exacting claim upon him, something that
chooses him out and calls him to vast things. Only in this sense, as the
task of working at themselves (“to hearken and to hammer day and
night”), might young people use the love that is given them. Merging and
surrendering and every kind of communion is not for them (who must save
and gather for a long, long time still), is the ultimate, is perhaps
that for which human lives as yet scarcely suffice.
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