my daughter

On holidays, I wonder
if my daughter ever thinks about me,
at least on major holidays.
is her mother, the giver of her life
okay on a holiday
or every day?

Does she have a single thought
of gratitude
for all I gave her
all the things upon which
her current life is built?
Does she even get
that I gave her the life she has now?
helped her achieve it
sacrificed for her to have it?
Does she silently, ever, thank me?

I don't think so.

Fourteen years
I struggle on holidays more each year
I hear a sonic boom tick tock, tick tock
time afleeting, only child lost to me.

Is she safe today?
happy? with loved ones?

What holes in her
allow her
to disown
her mother.

I have never been a drinker
Never a drug user
Never an abuser
Tick tock. Tick tock.
boom boom