the cost of becoming real

the-rupture-of-the-mother-line-and-the-cost-of-becoming-real/

This link takes you to a great blog.

I may be unable to see the truth of my ruptured bond with my daughter but I don't think I have ever wanted her to be disempowered, to be as unactualized as I am.  In truth, I sincerely believe my mothering of my daughter was powerfully grounded in empowering her to be whoever she was destined to be.  I made many sacrifices, many she cannot even know of, to give her what I could to help her find and then actualize herself.

A rupture, sure, I get that. She had to individuate. A fourteen year breach?   I don't get that.

I want her to become real, of course. I also want to have a relationship with my daughter. It seems to me, and of course I am not objective, her self actualization comes at a very high cost. Perhaps it is just my ego that leads me to believe her choices regarding me can't serve her any better than they serve me.

It is not wrong for a mother to want a relationship with her children.