if you have hurt someone . .

If you have hurt someone, don’t expect them to be elegant in how they deliver the message that they are hurt. Expect them to act like the imperfect human that they are. Hurt people act from woundedness, that's just how it is. Even if you hurt another unconsciously, they are still hurt and until you own what you did, acknowledge that you made behavioral choices that hurt them, they are going to keep trying to convey to you their hurt. Listen to their hurt, be sure you understand their hurt and then express regret. Don't tell criticize them for being hurt. Don't criticize them. Don't tell the person you have hurt that they shouldn't be hurt. Acknowledge what you did, whether it was conscious or unconscious, and express regret that the other person got hurt.  I do this.  I am quite sure I do.

Own up to having made your mistakes.  And don't yell at the person you hurt for feeling hurt.