sun-kissed and grateful

Today, I.so.did.not.want.to.go.swimming.  I had a big silent tantrum with myself, telling myself I didn't have to go and what is the harm is skipping a day. 

A couple years after living in CA, but when I had been swimming every single day but Christmas for most of those years, I became very depressed. On a visit to Seattle, I made an appoinmtnet with my borderline therapist at UW -- she even gave me a two hour slot, cause we had not talked in a couple years.  And she did not charge me for that appointment!

And she asked me the perfect intervention question:  "Can you think of something in your life that changed just before you became aware of being depressed?"

And, bingo, my depression lifted with my answer. My answer was, and this seems obvious in hindsight but Melanie's question triggered my awareness, "The thing that changed is I began to skip swimming a day here, a day there, then more."

Since then, and that was almost ten years ago, I remind myself of that exchange with Melanie every time I want to skip a day in the pool.  It usually works, getting me to swim that day.

This morning, even trying to nudge myself to the pool with Melanie's question did not move me.

And then this thought popped into my head "My friend who loves me spent $350 so you can go swimming every day. Get out there today as payback for her gift."

And, of course, for I would not be writing this if I had given into my inertia/resistance today, I went swimming.

I love swimming in any weather. Cold, dark rainy days are great, partly because the pool has almost no one in it. Lots of folks don't go swimming in the rain. Today, however, it is very sunny and, for the Bay Area, very hot. Hot and sunny are my all time favorite swim conditions.

It was your kind, generous gift that got me in the pool. My face feels lightly sun-kissed now.  I love how the sun can 'kiss' my skin and that kiss moves with me through the rest of the day.

and I love me.

And I love the friend who, for the third year in a row, gifted me my membership where I swim.