Tuesday, February 18, 2014

the word patriarchy:

I stopped using the word patriarchy after reading Riane Eisler's 'The Partnership Way'. In that book, she calls for humans to move beyond matriarchy-patriarchy and enter 'the partnership way'.  Matriarchy and patriarchy are in opposition, perpetuating a negative dichotomy that is not unlike the deadlock we see in our politicans.

A new way, a third way, a third place, must be birthed for the healing human culture. I  think Third Place or Third Way would a good name for healing the dominator culture. The commons is  rooted in patriarchy. "Everyone didn't own the commons; men did."Ca;italism is patriarchal.  Letting go of old language might be necessary to manifest a better way, the Third Way. Like that famous Buckminster Fuller quote, we need new models instead of perpetually tweaking existing ones (obviously I extrapolate).  What we think shapes the world we inhabit.  If we think thoughts that assume outmoded patterns of culture, we get outmoded patterns of culture.

Many of our cultural institutions are rooted in what might be called capitalist patriarchy. Marriage only evolved so men could own their childbearer's womb and it's product, children. Men wanted to control their sperm so women had to be monogamous while men could do what they wish. In the late 19th Century in the good old USA, women and children were chattel. I don't want to participate in 2014 dialogues that refer to the dominator culture as patriarchy. I will not give patriarchal, or dominator culture,  power over  my language or anything else.

The experience of covering this material in a "partnership way" is what they didn't teach you in school. Learning to work together without ranking ourselves is a skill that we lost thousands of years ago. This book presents an opportunity for those who would like to reclaim that skill.

Why do you think Eisler's work gets so little notice that this book is out of print? Because of the dominatoar culture, because we have lost the skill to work together without ranking and women always rank lower than men.

I know some white men who will, in a token way, acknowledged their unearned white rank and privilege.  I don't know any that actually let go of their privilege and actually give women's power any real attention.

I have not used the word patriarchy since I first read 'The Partnership Way' in 1990.

I am bruised, deep in my being, that this visionary woman is not recognized as she should be. Her work has deeply impacted most of the women I most admire. I know no men who see the importance of her work. One collegial acquaintance read her book, The Chalice and the Blade and criticized it. He's never written any visionary work but he dismissed her genius masterpiece. So typical.

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