tea is love

The dream lives on.  Once my teenager stayed home from school when she was feeling sick. The next day, her brainiac boy pals said "Why did you stay home?  You could feel lousy here and not miss class and there is food and friends. Staying home alone is so boring."

She said "My mom brings me cups of tea in bed. That's why I stay home when I am sick."

I was a proud mother.

And felt a little sad for the smart kid who said it. He went to Duke. That kid, smart, very short and not very popular with the girls -- he was a math geek friend of Katie's and if interested in her, he never let on -- as soon as he got to Duke he got together with a tall, gorgeous girl who had been homecoming queen at her high school. Happy ending for geek boy.  I was happy for him then.  But I still feel a little sad to recall that he said when he was sick, even in early grade school, he would spend the day home alone with his working parents calling to check on him.  No tea and dry toast on a tray in bed. No fluffing of pillows, fresh sheets to freshen the soul.  Fluff, fluff. Fresh out of the dryer sheets are such a balm, yes?

Anyway. 

No one has ever brought me a cup of tea when I've been sick.  Not when I was a kid, with a stay at home mom who hated me if I stayed home from school. She would say 'don't expect me to do anything if you stay home'.  I did not have such big dreams in those days, no dream of tea in bed. My mom never brought me anything in bed, never ever. She never 'took care of me' when I was sick. She only let me stay home from school if I was actively vomiting at breakfast time. Barfing the night before was not enough for her stay-at-home standard.

I thought my kid might have done it for me sometime as she grew up but she didn't.  She would never do things for me.  Even when she wanted something.

I've lived alone, without another adult in the house since I was 30.  Who's ever gonna bring me a cup of tea? When I am sick and have an upset tummy and I don't really want anything. The tea is gesture.  The tea would be love.