I am happy now

Joan and I ended our friendship yesterday. Serenity now did not work as well as I might have wished. She said she will never speak to me again and I think (hope?!) she meant it. I don't think Joan goes in for hyperbole the way I do. I am always saying never. . . and never meaning it.

On a happy note, I am happy now. I am happy now. I am happy now.

I now live in California. The opportunity to move flashed before me in June and I accepted it almost without htinking because it felt right. Thank goddess, it still feels right.

I still love road trips. I have had some very joyful times on the road with people I love. And I managed to squeeze some love into my trip with Joan.

She almost singlehandedly unloaded my truck, even though I didn't want her to.

She bought me candlesticks and candles as a housewarming gift (one of them shattered, I am sorry to report) and she extracted my promise to light candles for myself every day.

She crooned a dozen love songs to me along the way.

And then something happened and in a minute, our friendship was at an end. The fact that our friendship is over feels just as right as this move to California. I regret losing her but I felt like I had to erase myself in order to be acceptable to her.

So. A little sad. A lot happy.