Tizzielish

Tizzie Lish was the name of a character in an old radio drama.  In, I think, the forties.

I was born in the fifties. My mom called me Tizzielish as an affectionate pet name. I loved having a special name. Until I was thirteen, I only had brothers and my pet name was too feminine for boys.

Then my sister Margaret was born when I was thirteen.  My mom started out calling her Tizzielish. I objected, in my awkward, gangly, teenage self.  My mom capitulated a bit. She shifted to calling my sister Ms. Lish, but I objected to that. I told my mom it was just plain wrong.

My mom liked to ignore me.  It seemed to empower her to defy me. And it seemed to me that the more reasonable my requests were, the more connected my requests to mom were about my own self care, the more she liked to defy me. It seemed to me, and it still does, that my mom liked to put me down, that it made her feeling better about herself to look down at her daughter.

I guess I kinda hate my mom.

She persisted in calling my sister Ms. Lish, but only infrequently. It never really caught on as the kid's nickname.  And my sister didn't like being Ms. Lish. She wanted to be first in mom's heart and she wanted, I think, to be Tizzie Lish. But she wasn't.  I was.

Sibling rivalry.